Monday, July 11, 2011


To continue in the 'questions' vein, there are sometimes that I'm asking 'who', rather than 'why'. It's usually along the lined of "Whose brilliant idea was this?". I'm going to run with it for a little while, and see what turns up.


-Who was the first person who thought to eat an egg? I'm serious. Who was the guy who looked at this roundish, white thing that just slid all warm out of a chicken's butt, and he said "Dang! That looks tasty!"
     -Better yet, who was the 1st guy to actually eat an egg? I'll bet they were not the same guy. I picture the 1st guy to think of it trying to convince his friend, the one whom everyone knows is gullible, to eat the egg. "Come on, just eat it! I'll give you my favorite club. Okay, your favorite club. And I'll tell all the females how daring you were. You know how they love the daring cavemen! You'll have a date for the Mastodon slaying for sure!"

-Who was the first guy to call it a 'penis', and what the hell was he thinking? I'll bet he was embarrassed about it afterward, after it started to catch on. I'll bet his friends were all Gibbs-slapping him in the back of the head and asking him why he didn't call it the Glorious, or the Massive, or the Importance; something that at least sounds important! Why did he choose 'penis'? It sounds like the name of a clown that does kids birthday parties, for cryin' out loud! "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, put your hands together for Penis the clown, and his trick dog, Scrotum!

-Who was that insanely brave, or possibly just insane, man who was the first to use a parachute?
It may have been mathematically proven to work, and designed extremely well, but who was the first guy to stand by the open door of an aeroplane watching the ground streak by thousands of feet below who said "Well, this seems like a perfectly good idea!" and jumped? This one may actually be documented. I'll bet if we could follow the family trees back far enough we'd see that the designer and the tester of the parachute were actually descendants of that first egg duo!

...and, last but not least for today,
-Who was the first guy to drag a Christmas tree into the house, and what do you think his wife said?
Wife: "Hey! What the heck are you doing? You wipe your feet before you come in but you drag in this whole tree with you? You don't think that's going to make a mess? Pine needles everywhere, tracked all over the hovel? I just cleaned the hovel! What were you thinking?"
Husband: "Well, I was going to drag it into the best room in the hovel and stand it in a pot in the corner for the next two or three weeks. That way it will be really dead and dry, a huge fire hazard what with us using torches and candles at night. That way it can be an ongoing mess for you for most of the month with those pine needles going just everywhere. Especially at the end of the month when I pull it out of here while it's tinder-dry. Those pine needles will really fly then! You don't mind, do you? Maybe you and the kids can dress it up and make it pretty. That would give you something to do, like you already don't have a full day taking care of the kids and the hovel. What do you say? Someday it'll be all the rage!"
     And the wife, beaten down by his unassailable logic, or maybe it was just his dogged stubbornness, went along with the plan. So now, thanks to her, millions of woman all over the world have to deal with this nightmare annually. The men didn't get away scot-free on this one, however. I'm almost positive that, in retaliation, it was a woman who invented the phrase "Some Assembly Required", a phrase which has brought their male counterparts to the verge of tears every Christmas, all through the ages!

Okay, that's enough rambling from me for the day. Just like yesterday, if you, dear reader, have any 'who' questions of your own, please feel free to share them in the 'Comments' section below. I'd love to hear from you!

Talk to you later!

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