Saturday, July 30, 2011

But I'm Not Thirsty!

Tonight on the way home, Handsome was thinking about my anhidrosis. Our conversation made him laugh quite a bit, so I'll try to recreate it here, for you.

"Dad," he said, "I think it's weird that they thought you were dehydrated when you weren't sweating. Where did they think it was all going?"
"They didn't know I wasn't sweating yet," I told him. "All they knew was that I was having signs of heat stroke and it was barely 60 degrees out that day. Usually, when someone gets heatstroke it has to do with them sweating all the water out of their system until their body just runs out. Then, with no water cooling their system, they start to over heat really fast and *bam* they get heatstroke."
"But couldn't they check you?"
"Oh," I replied, "they did. They took some of my blood and checked to see how much water was in that. I could have just peed in a cup, I guess, but I had been drinking water all day and not sweating any of it out. I was going to the bathroom every fifteen minutes, and the water that was going into me was coming out right away, practically unchanged. I could have peed it right back into a bottle and still sold it as spring water, for crying out loud!"
In the seat beside me, my son started laughing.
"I probably could have peed in a cup for them, but they would have said "Hey, slow down there, pal! You just took this from the tap, didn't you!""
"'No,' I'd have said. 'I'm just super hydrated is all. I'm sloshing. Look, I've been drinking grape flavored water all day, right? Well smell that sample! Does it smell like urine to you? Nope, smells like grape, doesn't it? Enticing, right? Make you want to try a sip?"
Beside me, Hansome was laughing fit to bust. Feeling like a funnyman, I went on.
"Put two bottles side by side! In one we put grape Propel, in the other we put some Propel that's gone through me! We'll call it Propee! Propel and Propee, a blind taste test! What do you think?"
The passenger window rolled down suddenly, and Handsome stuck his head out.
"What are you doing?"
"I was laughing so hard," he said, "I threw up a little in my mouth!"
I took up a bottle from the cup holder between the seats and held it out to him.
"Wanna wash it out with some grape Propel? I promise it's Propel."
I made an evil face.
"...or is it?"
He started laughing again, turned a little green, and his head went back out the window.

He is my best audience.

Nothing says funny like vomit in your throat!

Talk to you later!

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