Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Bags! They're Blue!

Okay, what's the deal with the dog-poo bags? I understand the need to clean up after your dog, but in a thin little plastic bag? I've cleaned up after a dog before, lots of times when I was a kid, and I'm of the opinion that something a little more robust, a little more sturdy is needed.
What if the bag breaks? I see people who have cleaned up after their dogs, and some of them have their hands thrust through the handles of the bag so it's hanging off their wrist like they're shopping at the mall. What if you get someone like that who talks with their hands? That bag winds up waving around at the end of their arm like a cross between a semaphore flag and a pinata from Hell! What if the seam gives out? What if they inadvertently whack the guy in the green and black spandex suit with the camel-pack drinking system and those weird neoprene shoes with built in toes who's just running by, and the poor guy winds up covered in canine by-product? All he wanted to do was dress up like a superhero and run 25 miles today, and instead he winds up needing therapy!
And why do they carry them around like that? If I'm walking along and I see someone with one of those bags, and there's a suspicious lump in the bag, I know what it is! They're not hiding anything! I'm never going to mistake one of those things for a small bag they may have just gotten at the store, say while picking up a prescription. Never! Especially when the light hits the bag from the other side, and they haven't double-bagged it, and the light just passes right through the bag so that you can clearly see the contents. There have been times that has happened where I've almost stopped to ask the person carrying it if what's in the bag is supposed to be that color. "I mean, wow, are you sure your dog's okay? What have you been feeding him? Is that really a partially digested sock in there?"
And the bags are blue. They're all blue, and they're highly visible and we all know what they're for. I see some people who are trying to be conscientious dog walkers, and they have the bag at the ready. It's not in a holder or anything, but tied to the handle of the leash. Sometimes they're really ready for action, and the blue bag isn't tied to the leash, but just sticking through the loop of the handle like it's in a speed-holster. They're walking along behind their dog in a quick-draw stance, ready to throw down with the dog dirt like they're going for some sort of record.
The second scariest thing I've seen in a long time was a little woman who was walking a Great Dane, and in her hand she had one of those bags.
One bag.
Not a holder full of bags, one bag! For a dog the size of a Clydesdale. What she needed was a dump-truck and a containment suit! She was not prepared!
Now, the one thing I've seen that was even scarier than that, was a woman who was ready for some serious action. She had about ten of those bags shoved through the handle of the leash. Not tied on, but shoved through the handle and ready to go at a moment's notice. This lady should have been walking that Great Dane.
She was walking a Pomeranian.
Holy cow! What did she feed that thing!?

Talk to you later!


  1. Ours are pink, and come in a little roller thingy that clips to the leash handle, like an itty bitty roll of pink "Hefty" bags. Of course, the dog's a "she," so maybe that makes a difference. And ... at 90 lbs, she'll give the great dane a run for the money.

    C'mon, you know you're still going "Hefty! Hefty! Hefty!"

  2. I've seen those roller/holders you're talking about. That's how I know these people have options, but still choose the 'speed holster' method...