Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Questions - Part 2 - Smoked Bacon and Eggs

Welcome to the second installment in my little "Questions" series, where I ask questions that have occurred to me. I'm not looking for answers to these questions; I'm just using them as a tool to let you see what goes on in my head. My great big empty head...

If you made it back after yesterday's lengthy post, then I thank and congratulate you. I promise, today's post will be a much quicker read!

  • Bacon, Eggs, and Smoke Detectors
    • Okay, this is actually a question my mom asked me, and for a long time I couldn't get it out of my mind. Then this weekend, as I was cooking breakfast for Handsome I was reminded of it again, so it was right there fresh in my mind when I sat down to think of a few questions to pose to y'all.

      Every morning that Handsome has stayed with me I've made him pancakes. Sometimes they didn't go too well (Please see Breakfast - Gone Horribly Wrong  for that story), but I always make them. It's only sometimes that I make bacon. Now, Handsome loves bacon, as evidenced by his menu choice last Sunday at the Moose Lodge Breakfast (Please see Everything's Better With Bacon). I love bacon too - like I say, everything is better with bacon. The problem is the mess. And the time it takes. And that I'm lazy. Sometimes, however, I manage to overcome all that, and I slap some Hickory Smoked Heaven down on the skillet.

      These are the times Mom was asking me about. When that meat hits the skillet the immediate result is spattering pain for those of us who tend to forget about the grease and cook wearing short sleeves, or worse, no shirt at all. At the very least there is a spattering greasy mess on the stove. As the cooking progresses, however, the second, slightly less immediate result becomes apparent, and I fill the house with a haze of smoke tinged with the delectable odor of bacony goodness. (See? Bacon even makes a house filled with smoke better!)

      I run the vent fan over the stove. I open the back door (occasionally in some very cold weather) to try to ventilate the place, but still the whole house is filled with enough smoke to make Handsome come downstairs with his shirt held over his nose to keep from coughing to ask what the heck is going on. And if it's ready yet.

      Through all this smoke and spatter, and more smoke, not a single smoke detector in the house goes off. Not a whoop, not a whine, not a peep.

      Now you might think that simply means the detectors in the house aren't working, or have been turned off for some reason, but that's not the case. If it were then I would not have the following question, posed to me by my mother a few months ago:

      How is it that I can fill the house with smoke every time I make bacon and not set off a single alarm, yet my dad cooks himself some eggs and every alarm in the house goes off? That I can create an atmosphere where the house occupants need respirators in order to survive, without even a warning beep, but we have to turn off the detectors around the house just so my dad can make an omelet in peace?

      The easy answer, the one that springs to mind is "I don't know, Mom, but it's bacon, so I'm going to keep on doing it!"

Well, that's my question for today, and look! It was much shorter! Maybe that's because it wasn't, strictly speaking my question. Maybe it's because I had to work today, so I didn't have enough time to type as much. Who knows? Maybe that's a question for another day.

Okay... it's time to post this so I have a little time to work on my Flash Fiction for Vamplit this week before the Sandman comes along and lays me out with that lead pipe he's taken to carrying around (apparently the old sprinkle of sand just wasn't doing the trick. Or maybe the pipe's just a lot more fun...).

Talk to you later!

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