Sunday, February 12, 2012

Packs a Punch, Doesn't It?

I like Hydrive. I think I've been pretty clear about that over my months here. It's tasty, non-carbonated, and chock full of caffeine. That's perfect for me!

It's also a little expensive, compared with some of the other things out there I could be drinking, I've been looking for a substitute, but I can't seem to find one I like as much. I'm not that much of a coffee person, apparently. Amp has so much sugar in it I blow up to 220 lbs in a month drinking that stuff. I've recently discovered Sheets brand Energy Strips, and I like them a lot, but I'm looking for something I can take to work in the simmer that's going to quench my thirst, and Sheets actually make me need a drink after a while.

Then, this weekend, I discovered MiO.

Mio is a little liquid water enhancer I've seen around. It's a little squirt bottle you buy in the store full of this... stuff. It's an additive you can use to flavor your water, so rather than buying expensive flavored waters (like I do) you can just add a squirt of this stuff to tap water and voila!

Up until now I have sort of turned my nose up at MiO. I think I've had other people give me water flavored with the stuff, and it was all right, but nothing I'd ever buy, I guess. Until the other day. The other day I saw, mixed in with the other flavors of Mio on the shelf I was passing, something called MiOENERGY. 

Energy? I thought. That sounds a little interesting! I might have to try that!

So I bought a bottle. No bigger than a bottle of nasal spray or eye drops, this little thing claims to have enough in it for 18 servings. I checked the side of the bottle, and according to what they printed there one serving equals one squirt (okay, not the most scientific of measurements, I'll grant you) and one serving contains 60mg of caffeine! Nice!

Okay, though, how much is one squirt? And how does it taste? The flavor, according to the bottle is "Green Thunder". Okay. What the hell does green taste like?

So I tried some.

I got myself a regular old bottle of water, opened the MiO and gave it a squirt. The flavor was nothing to write home about, seeming just a little weak. The good news was, the MiO bottle was right there and I could give it another squirt. That did it! The flavor was stronger, and I figured that with twice the squirt I'd get twice the caffeine, right? Sweet! Well, everything was going just swimmingly until I noticed that I'd gotten just a few drops of the undiluted squirt on my thumb and reflexively licked it off.

One side of the MiO bottle says " Caution: Not for children. Do Not add to caffeinated or alcoholic drinks." The other side says, and this is the important part, "Always Dilute Concentrate".

They are not kidding.

Remember in the original Willy Wonka movie, the one with Gene Wilder, one of the kids tries some exploding gum (terrific fun for friends and enemies alike!) and winds up blowing himself across the room and they spend a little time checking to see if he still has teeth? Picture that, but instead of a kid in a cowboy suit, picture 200 lbs of bald guy crying instead.

I checked. I still have all my teeth. They're just a little loose is all. Who knew something as simple as flavor could have so much power?

So now I think I have my low-cost substitute for Hydrive. Even at $4.00 a bottle and using it at 3X the strength MiO would be half of the best price I can get Hydrive for. I had to do a little experimentation, but I think it was worth it. At least, I do at the moment.

You see, my tongue's in a sling for now. And it's green. Really green. This might be a little hard to explain at security at Denver International when I head for home tonight. It's a little hard to talk with the sling in place too... I hope I don't have any questions to answer.

Talk to you later.

Or, more realistically, "Thak thoo oo 'ather."

P.S. - Here's a link to a review I found of MiO ENERGY. Just in case you were interested.

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