Well, when his practice was over, and he was just running about playing with some of his friends before heading for home, his coach snagged him again. He took Handsome over to where the older kids were starting their warm-ups (the older crowd's practice begins 15 minutes after the younger crowd's ends) and stuck him in the back row. Handsome went through the warm-ups with the older kids, and he did pretty well at keeping up with them, especially considering he'd just finished his own practice and was probably tired. I was watching him doing push-ups and sit-ups when one of the other dads leaned over to me.
"Did you hear that?" he said.
I just blinked at him, having no idea what he was talking about. He threw a thumb at the boy standing next to his chair, one of the kids from the younger class who was getting ready to go home.
"He fell right on his wenis!"
Well, I felt my eyes widen, and certain parts of my anatomy south of the Mason Dixon line felt a little crinkly in sympathy, as if they had heard that pronouncement on their own and were shuddering.
"Yup," he went on. "He fell and landed on his wenis pretty hard."
I looked at the boy in question, concerned about his welfare, and found him grinning at me.
Smiling? He fell and whacked his walnuts, pretty hard according to Other Dad, and he's --
Other Dad completely derailed my train of thought by holding up his arm and pinching the point of his elbow.
"The wenis," he said, "is the loose skin at the point of your elbow that lacks sensation."
Well, I thought about that for a moment, then made the most intelligent reply I could muster.
"The wenis," he repeated, "is this skin on your elbow that lacks sensation." He was grinning wickedly now, and he pointed at the smiling boy again, who was sitting and putting on his street shoes.
"He fell on his elbow," said Other Dad. "And landed on his wenis."
I felt a grin spreading across my own face, the same smile I think I get when someone near me mentions the word 'boobs'.
"Right..." I said.
So he showed me on his smartphone. Went right online and showed me the definition of wenis. I'll share it here, and clicking on the definition will take you right to the web page I got it from so you can check my veracity:
As you can see, if you follow that link, wenis is actually being defined by a Merriam Webster site, which does lend some credence to its being an actual word. Further research shows that the argument over whether or not wenis is a real word began as early as 2006 and continues even today. This being 2012, you can now find the word wenis defined at TheUrbanDictionary.com as well as Merriam Webster's Open Dictionary. There is a website, wenisworks.com, that is currently petitioning to have the word wenis added as a listing in Merriam Webster's official dictionary.
Whatever. I like it. Now I can walk up to Handsome and ask him 'How's your wenis?' I haven't yet, but just that the potential is there makes me grin like an idiot.
No. I don't think I'll ever grow up completely. Just call me a modern-day Peter Pan...
...and ask me how my wenis is!
Talk to you later!