Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Questions - Part 3 - Hair Transference

...And today I continue to outline and ask questions that have occurred to me over the course of time. Some may make sense to you, some may not, but they all matter to me somehow!

Okay, anyone who knows me, or has seen my picture anywhere, knows I have about as much hair on my head as a pool-ball. As a matter of fact, I have frequently and accurately described myself as looking quite a bit like the Rollback guy in the Walmart commercials on television. Here, I'll show you; I'll give you two photos to contrast/compare.


My God, it's like we were separated at birth!
Just to be sure, for those who've never actually met me, that's me on the left.

Now I started to lose my hair way, way, way back when I was 19. Or was that just way, way back? Oh, never mind... it was when I was 19.  I started shaving my head when I turned 30 (and that's just way back), and I was tired of worrying about what my hair was doing and where it was going. Now I no longer worry. I know where it was going all that time, since I'm pretty sure it's completed the trip.

My question for today is this:

If I absolutely have to have hair, and it seems that I do, and it's not going to grow where I want it to (and yes, that would be on my head), then why, oh why, does it have to grow out of my ears? And couldn't I have had at least a little warning about this? The first I knew it was going to be a problem was when I started finding it hard to hear people speaking. I went to the ear doctor, afraid I was losing my hearing, and having visions of myself in my 30's being fitted for hearing aids.

Instead of a hearing aid, the doctor handed me a little power tool, somewhat like a little tiny hedge trimmer.
20 minutes later I was ankle-deep in off-cut hair, and the doctor looked like he was going to vomit, but I could hear! It was a miracle! A miracle that runs on two AAA batteries, but a miracle nonetheless! Just to help you all visualize just what this little bit of buzzing magic means to me, I've included an artist's conception of what I'd look like without using this little wonder:

Dammit! I got the wrong photo - so easy to get confused! Hang on a sec...

There we go! Hideous, isn't it? Oh, and just for giggles I'll throw in this artist's conception of me if I ever got an earring and hit the gym:

Okay, I've apparently gone screaming off the rails for this particular post. Sorry, it's been a long day and my head is killing me. I think I'll go lie down for a while. I guess I'll have to trim my ears first though. If I don't then  I have to lie on my back because of the thick bristles sticking out of the sides of my head.

God I hate that!

Talk to you later!

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