Wednesday, February 29, 2012

On With the Show!

The other night at Handsome’s Blue and Gold Cub Scout banquet, each scout den was required to put on a skit of some kind. Handsome’s skit went just fine, and I could tell you about it, but not today. Maybe tomorrow. Today I’m going to cheat like mad and tell you about another skit that went on that night.

One of the dens stood all their boys in a row, and they were going to tell us all Astronaut jokes. They each had their own sheet of the jokes, and they were passing the microphone down the line from kid to kid. The first kid in line read a joke:

“How do you get an astronaut baby to sleep?”

Then he read the answer: “Rocket.”

He passed the mic to the next kid in line, who read his joke: “What should an astronaut do when he gets dirty?”

Then he read the answer: “Rocket.”

A beat went by as he replayed what he’d just said in his mind, then pointed to a different part of the paper and cried out “No! Wait! ‘Take a meteor shower’!”

Then he burst out laughing. Well, we all laughed at that, and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the skit. Every time one of the jokes was, well, not too funny, someone in the audience would call out “Rocket!” and everyone would laugh, including the Scouts up on stage!

Just for giggles, and to fill up some space on the page (I told you I was going to cheat liker mad!) I’m going to include the rest of their jokes below. If any of them don’t make you at least smile, just say “Rocket” out loud.
Works every time!

The Jokes:
What did the astronaut get when the rocket fell on his foot? Mistletoe

What did the astronaut think of the restaurant on the moon? He thought the food was fine but there wasn't much of an atmosphere

What did the astronaut see on the stove? An unidentified frying object

What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar

What do you call an astronaut's watch? A lunar-tick

Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches? In their launch boxes

Why don't astronauts relate well to other people? They are not always down-to-earth

Why do astronauts wear bullet-proof vests? To protect themselves against shooting stars

What happens to astronauts who misbehave? They’re grounded

Did you hear the one about the spaceship? It was out of this world

What do you call a space magician? A flying saucerer

What kind of Star Wars toy can you ride? A Toy-Yoda

When is the moon not hungry? When it is full

How did the rocket lose its job? It was fired

How does the astronaut describe his work? Heavenly

And that’s all he wrote.

Talk to you later!

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