- Why is it called a doctor's 'practice'? I mean, by the time they're getting to work on me I'd rather practice were over and it's Game On!
- Why is that strip of carpet that lies on the floor in the hallway called a 'runner'? It doesn't run anywhere, all it does is lie there!
- Why do I even know the names Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian?
- Why is it that whenever I'm in a big, big hurry to get somewhere, everyone in front of me on the road... isn't?
- Why does the phrase 'to treat' mean to pay for something for someone else, for example, to buy someone dinner "my treat", but the phrase 'to retreat' means to withrdaw, or run away? When you retreat, shouldn't you just be buying dinner... again?
- Why are there no terrific job titles in America anymore? I mean, I'm a 'Letter Carrier', and I know people who are in 'Data Entry', or work 'in Retail', but wouldn't it be cooler if we could fill out a job application and, in that space where they are asking for 'former job experience' we could write 'Herald to the King'? And returning soldiers wouldn't be soldiers, but "Defenders of the Realm'? Oh! Oh! That would make a retired 4 Star General a 'former Harbinger of Death to Enemies of the Realm'! Now that would make people sit up and take notice!
- Why can I not remember something that I deemed important that happened less than 60 minutes ago, but I can recall, verbatim, a conversation I had about Goblins while playing Dungeons & Dragons in 1985? (And yes, I am aware that I just whipped open my overcoat and exposed my Nerd Factor to you all. But really... I think we all knew, didn't we?)
- Why can I run a daily Blog and a Writer's Website, and I once built a computer that works just fine to this day (though it is a little outdated now), but I still can't program the clock on the damn VCR, nor can I figure out how to record one show while watching another without using televisions in separate rooms?
- Why is the Luge an Olympic event, while 'Shopping Cart Races' is nothing more than a cheap, somewhat dangerous pastime for drunken underage party-goers who find themselves wandering through a Shaw's parking lot after hours?
- And finally, why in the world did anyone ever let William Shatner have a (so-called) 'musical career'?
And, once he'd begun, why oh why did they ever let him stop?
Thanks for putting up with me this week.
Talk to you later!