Friday, August 26, 2011

Spin the What?

We had Handsome's birthday party today. His actual birthday is on Sunday, and apparently we'll be celebrating it by hosting a hurricane in his honor. We considered a clown, but that's been done. And done. There's the poney ride, but then who do you think would clean up after it? Yup. Yours truely. I said neigh. We talked about a bouncy house, but they're so dangerous... Then we heard Irene was going to be here that day, and we thought 70 mile per hour winds and torrential rains, thunder, lightning... what more could a kid ask for?  So we told him we ordered him a hurricane. I'm not sure if he knows it's going to be here no matter what, but we're not telling him. We want him to feel special, so do me a favor; keep it under your hat.
So today Wife and I took Handsome and 5 friends to Plaster Fun Time, and then to a small pizza place for lunch. When it was pretty much over, and two of the friends had already been picked up, Wife went to the restroom and I finished the clean-up. As I was coming back from the trash barrel I heard one of the friends say "You want to play Spin-the-Bottle?"
Keep in mind, this is Handsome's 9th birthday.
I said "Spin the what?"
The friend looked up as Handsome said "I don't want to play a kissing game!"
That's my boy. Once he's old enough I'll unleash him on the girls, but for the moment I'd like him to stay small enough, or failing that young enough, for me to hug. Without a fight. Well, too much of a fight.
Anyway, the friend explained that it wasn't the kissing game, but a dare game. Whomever the bottle indicated when it came to rest would have to take a dare or be pronounced 'chicken'.
Sounded safe enough. What could they get into while stuck in a booth in a pizza joint?
"Okay, so, Spin-the-Bottle," said the friend.
"Spin the what? I come back and hear 'Spin-the-Bottle'? I don't think so!"
Wife had just returned from the restroom. The game was explained again.
The game began.
I didn't pay attention for a while. I mean, someone had to eat all the leftover pizza and cake, otherwise we would just have to cart it around, right? Wife went out to make a call, doing some last-minute planning for the hurricane (nudge-nudge wink-wink). When my attention returned to the table full of kids, I was slightly aghast.
One friend, E-, the one who had proposed the game, had her head back and her tongue out. Another of the friends, J-, was counting and pouring salt onto E-'s tongue. According to the count he did it for 15 seconds.
Holy ##$%!
I kept my mouth shut and watched. The bottle spun. J- got a 10 second salt treatment. Another spin. E- got 10 seconds of pepper.
I felt nauseous just watching.
Handsome got 10 seconds of salt and almost threw up. J- was looking a little green. E- looked fine, and was playing with a nonchalance I found both admirable and disquieting. Finally, the bottle pointing at an unconcerned E-, I saw Handsome pick up the hot pepper. Without any clue as to what it was, he said "Let's use this!"
I had to put my foot down. "Not with that, Handsome, your head will explode."
At my words I saw J-'s eyes light up, but E- nodded and said "Yeah. I wouldn't want you to die or anything. Not on your birthday."
Oh thank God she didn't know his birthday is really Sunday.
Boy, I hope he likes his hurricane!
Talk to you later!

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