First, take a weiner dog. Those long, low, hot-dog shaped canines with the stretched out bodies and the tiny little legs. Now, take this weiner dog and thicken him up. Broader across the chest, thicker around the middle, and give him a good-sized head and feet. Make his legs a touch thicker as well, but not one millimeter longer. They look a little bit like the skate board of the canine world. Oh, before I forget, take their floppy weiner-dog ears and thicken those up too. I know you pretty much gave the image in your mind a head that's just a touch big for its body, but now give it a pair of ears that are a little large for the head. Big, kind of bat ears that stand up from the head, like German Shepard ears, but larger. Make it kind of .. the Dumbo skateboard of the canine world.
If there is anyone reading this who happens to own, live with, or is otherwise friends with a Corgi, please put down that knife/gun/great big rock and stop planning my violent demise. I like Corgis. They are friendly, intelligent dogs, usually with tons of personality. And despite how I am describing them, they are cute as hell.
They do look a bit like God made them on an off day out of some spare parts he had lying about, though. He just got lucky, as He seems to do, and they wound up cute.
Okay, so, this cute frankenstein's monster of a dumbo skateboard of the canine world was crossing the street. His owner was walking, but the Corgi was on a leash and had to keep up, so he was running. Corgis run in a way that reminds me of ferrets and those old hand-cars for railroads, the ones with two guys working a toggle-lever like mad. Anyway... as this little beastie was running across the street, this is what I imagined running through his head:
Running ... running ... running ... why the hell are his legs so long? This isn't fair ... isn't fair ... I don't care if a car is coming ... wow this street is wide ... I swear to Dog, next time we use that walk-signal thingie ... can't you carry me? ... okay ... here comes the curb ... oh, high curb, high curb! ... OUCH ... Oh my Dog that hurt! ... Wow, I wish my rear legs were just two inches longer! ... okay, dude, I have to sit right here for a while. I think I just did myself an injury, thank you very much! Nope! I'm sitting right ... did you say 'biscuit'? Okay, now you're talking! Let's go!
Yup. This is how I entertain myself on the drive to work.
Talk to you later!
P.S. - By the way, I must confess. I stole the title of today's post from a paper a friend of mine wrote for school on the train on his way to the class more than 20 years ago. Thanks, F-!