The United States Postal Circus

When I got to work this morning (5 minutes late) there was a little controversy already going on. There had been an argument on the floor the day before, a pretty vehement one, and the guy who works next to me, SM, had been pulled into the office this morning about it. He hadn't been a part of the actual argument, but when management was looking into it his name had come up as the 'instigator' of the incident. I got there just in time to witness SM returning from his trip to the office. He was telling anyone who would listen that he'd just gotten 2 minutes for instigating.

He's a Hockey fan.

So he was at his rack, and he kept telling people he'd gotten 2 minutes for instigating. He said it again and again, like a hopeful fisherman making cast after cast, a fisherman who just knows the fish he wants is there, and all he has to do is entice one bite. He said it often enough that he attracted the attention of the person who had been a part of the argument the day before, who I'll call JA. Well eventually, JA got tired of hearing the complaint, and he responded with a simple question.

"What are you talking about?"

It was the bite SM had been waiting for.

"I  said that I got 2 minutes for instigating. I was kind of wondering who went in the office and threw me under the bus. You know, like someone got in trouble and then threw my name out there because they were afraid to face the music alone."

The hook was set.

"What do you mean by that? That's not what happened at all! You were the one who..."
JA was on the hook, and SM played him as masterfully as any man you'll ever see hosting a fishing show. JA tried to run hither and yon, tried to spit the hook, but SM kept just enough pressure on the line, and he reeled, and reeled ... and this morning there was another vicious argument on the floor, and it spread out to include five people.

At the end of it all, SM was back in the office.

He was being spoken to about instigating.

Instigating about instigating.

Who needs afternoon Soaps? Or the Springer show?

I work for the United Stated Postal Circus, the Greatest Show on Earth!