Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Thing About Woody Is...

Cooking mostaccioli casserole for Handsome to eat for the rest of the week, and we had the laptop set up on the kitchen table behind me so we could watch "Toy Story 3" on NetFlix while he ate a dinner of old leftovers and I cooked future leftovers. So that we could hear it over the sounds of cooking, the various bubblings, sizzlings, bangings and clangings, I plugged the laptop into my wireless speaker antenna. Two nice stereo speakers in the kitchen and we could hear every word, every syllable, every pregnant pause.
I started out busy, getting the cooking started and feeding the boy, then getting the cooking finished, then cleaning the kitchen... but I had an eye and ear on the movie. I have to say, kid's flicks or not, I like the Toy Story franchise. They're well written, the art and animation is great, and the voice talent is first rate! So... by the end of the movie I was working pretty slowly; cleaning something then watching for a while, then cleaning something, then watching for a while...
I'm trying not to spoil the movie for anyone out there who hasn't seen it yet. If you haven't, I highly recommend it.  But there comes a part towards the end of the film where Andy, the boy who owns the toys, is making a speech about Woody, the main character in the film and Head Toy In Charge. It's a touching scene, and like I said the writers at Pixar are excellent storytellers, and if I had been sitting down to watch the movie I would have been on the edge of my seat at this point. Andy holds up Woody and says "You see... the thing about Woody... the best thing about Woody is - "
And the sound went out.
I lunged across the kitchen to one of the wireless speakers and tried to re-tune it, but no luck. And no sound. From there, though, I could see behind the laptop to the wireless antenna. The transmitting light was out. 
I backed the movie up a little, and got the antenna transmitting again. Sound quality okay? Yes. Good to go. 
So I was standing right in front of the laptop when Andy started making the speech again.
"You see... the thing about Woody... the best thing about Woody is - "
The sound went out again. This time I saw it when the transmitting light went out. 
"Arrgh!" I said, as I fumbled with the wire and yanked it from the socket in the front of the laptop, restoring the original laptop sound.
Too late. 
"Stupid...stinking... stupid sound!" I said, and believe you me, those were not the first words that sprang to my lips. Or the second. I think they were like the ninth. But Handsome was sitting right there, I mean right there, like he was so close he could have spit milk through his nose and gotten it on the keyboard. Which he almost did, laughing at me. 
Eventually, I got to hear the line, but it took two tries while listening to the laptop speakers rather than the wireless speaker system. The first time my wife chose just that moment to cruise through the kitchen and remind Handsome about his bedtime. 
She doesn't know it, but she's lucky to be alive. 

I mentioned once before that I know God has a sense of humor. I'm also now aware that He has a terrific sense of comedic timing. 
The good part is, He seems to enjoy making my son laugh almost as much as I do.
Must be the milk out the nose. 

Keep it up, FunnyMan.

Talk to you later!


  1. Just because your mental health is important to us (and because your son's nose can only handle just so much milk in a day) we bring you the following ...

    Yours Truly,
    Noah Effingway et al.

  2. Thanks Noah! If this ever happens again I know just who to call...