Postal Workers Say the Darndest Things!

So, I've been working for the postal service for about 16 years now, in three different offices, and I've heard a lot of people saying a lot of weird things. For today I tried to make a list, from memory, of some of the more odd things I have heard people say at work. This includes anyone who works for the postal service that I have had contact with; other carriers, clerks, management and inspectors. Remember, this is just what I can remember, listed off the top of my head.

• Carrier : (Speaking dead seriously) “I have both kinds of stairs on my route. Up and down.”
  
  
• Carrier : “When you get to the end of the driveway, just give the mail to the dog.”
  
  
• Clerk : “That crazy lady from your route was in here yelling at the front counter today!”
  Carrier : “Really? Which one?”
  
  
• Manager : “I don't know. No! Wait! … No, I was right. I don't know.”
  
  
• Manager : “So I said to myself, 'what would Conan the Barbarian do?'”
  
  
• Carrier : “Do I want to be sick tomorrow? Yeah, I think I do. I want to be sick tomorrow.”
  
  
• Carrier : “It's just a beard, it won't hurt you.”
  
  
• Carrier, alerted to a new family moving onto his route : (say this one aloud) “Oh no! Now I have a Boyle on my route!”
  Other Carrier : “Nope. It's a whole family. That means you have a bunch of Boyles on your route! Better you than me, buddy.”
  
  
• Carrier : “When I walked into the yard I was positive the dog was locked in the house, right up until it bit me in the ass.”
  
  
• Carrier, talking to another Carrier : “You need to see “The Dirty Dozen” and “Kelly's Heroes”, and then maybe we can have a conversation.”
  
  
• Carrier, to an Inspector who was following him on his route that day : “See, she just ran up here to say hi and be patted.”
  Inspector, to a Carrier currently patting a large dog that just ran out to meet them on the street : “Good thing she turned out friendly! I was looking on this sheet for someplace to write 'carrier eaten by dog'.”
  
  
• Manager : “Now why do you say this is going to take you an hour and a half? K.S. did it the other day and it only took him an hour!”
  Carrier : “Well, did K.S. Just walk the relays, or did he have to drop off the relays first. I have to drop the relays off, too.”
  Manager : “Now, don't bring K.S. into this. You don't want to start comparing yourself to other people.”
  
  

Okay, there are more, but I think that's enough for now. I have to get up in 4 hours, so I guess I should get some shut-eye.

Talk to you later!