a True Story

This is a little story to tell you how your Post Office works. And this was on a GOOD day.

We used to have a man who worked for us I'll call LP. Now, LP was deaf. Still is, actually. He wears a pair of very large hearing aides and he manages to get by, but there's a lot of shouting going on whenever LP is involved in a situation. LP was born with a massive hearing deficit and I believe he spent his youth in complete silence, but with the advances in hearing aide technology he has gained partial hearing as an adult. If you are not used to his speech, LP is very hard to understand. Now, this story was related to me by someone who was actually involved in it, whom I'll call CC.
Keep in mind, this is a True Story.

So on this particular day, LP was answering the phones.
You know, now that I look at that, I could just leave that right there and be done for the day. Someone needs to answer the phones every day, and that day they had assigned the job to LP. The deaf guy.
Remember: True Story.
So LP was answering the phones (he can hear things in a higher register better than anything else, so he can pick up that the phone is ringing. If it's loud enough. I was offended that people would just whistle for him to get his attention until someone explained this to me), and CC was somewhere with LP in view.
The phone rang. LP picked it up and shouted (his only volume setting is SHOUT) "Goo mawna, Maboohed Poteofaw, can I hep oo?"
This is LPspeke for "Good morning, Marblehead Post Office, can I help you?"
LPspeke does take a little practice.
Well, CC watched as LP made a face, looked at the receiver, then hung it up.
Before he could walk away, the phone rang again.
"Goo mawna, Maboohed Poteofaw, can I hep oo?"
Again the look at the receiver, and the hang up.
It rang again.
LP stared at the phone, huffed a huge sigh, screwed up his face and lifted the receiver.
"Goo mawna ...  Maboohed Poteofaw ...  can I hep oo?"
He pulled the receiver away from his ear again, screwed his face up even further and said "AAhhhhh!" and slammed the handset down into its cradle.
He only got two steps away from the phone before it rang again!
LP glared over his shoulder at the offending item, then threw a hand toward it in disgust as he stalked away, muttering under his breath. Loudly. Remember, he has no volume control.
Well, the phone just continued to ring at LP's retreating back, so CC got up and answered it.
"Good morning, Marblehead Post Office, can I help you?"
On the other end of the line was a very irate woman who wanted to make a complaint about the man who had been answering the phone before, as he had been making fun of her unmercifully.
She was making this complaint in a very thick Asian accent.
CC sighed.
"Ma'am, that man wasn't making fun of you at all. I'm sorry, Ma'am, but that man is deaf."
There was a long pause.
"Oh! So solly! (very un-pc, I know, but a direct quote)" And she hung up.
To this day we have absolutely no idea what the reason was for her original call.

True Story.

Talk to you later!