Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Grinch Who Stole... Halloween?

Remember the Halloween of our childhood? You, if you were a boy (and often if you were a girl), dressed as the scariest thing you could think of. You got all dressed up, and if you looked in the mirror and thought to yourself  "Someone's going to see me like this and drop a fecal brick!" then you figured you were good to go.  There were the Fairies, and the Princesses, and they were fine and had their fun, but for a lot of us it was the once-a-year chance to be the thing that goes bump in the night that made Halloween the terrific holiday that we looked forward to.
This year Handsome wanted to be Freddy Krueger, and that's what we got him. Does he know Freddy Krueger? No. Has he seen the movie? No. But he knows just enough to be sure that Freddy's the scariest thing this side of Elm Street. it was the same thing when he dressed as Jason Voorhees - he just knew it was scary!
So we got him the sweater, and the hat, and a glove with plastic knives for fingers, and I figured out how to do his makeup so he was a pretty reasonable facsimile of the terrifying star of the Nightmare on Elm Street. At the Cub Scout Halloween party I saw ninjas, ghouls, zombies, ghosts, vampires, one serial killer, one axe murderer, and Death himself.
All very scary, all very cool. Handsome was looking forward to going to school as Freddy this Monday.
And then this notice is sent home from Handsome's school.

Halloween Parade!
Monday, October 31st at 1:30 pm

That was fine, that was awesome! A parade, even if it was just for the school... now that sounded like fun!
...and then I read further.

The Rules:
  • No gore, blood, or anything too scary.
  • No weapons (real, fake or otherwise)
  • If your child does not want to wear a costume that is fine, they can cheer for the other students.
A 4th grader not wanting to dress for Halloween? What?
No blood, or anything scary? Hello? Have you all even  heard of Halloween?
Well, I'll just make him up and send him along. Maybe these teachers who don't understand Halloween haven't seen Elm Street, and he can slide by... no, wait....

  • Keep the costumes as uncomplicated as possible
  • Costumes are not to be worn to school
  • Difficult hair styles, makeup etc. are not allowed
Not to be worn to school. No makeup allowed. So Handsome can wear a sweater and hat. No makeup, no knifey glove ... basically my son will be going to school dressed as an old man.

Ooohh! Spooooooky! That is soooooo Halloweeny!

I'm freaking out over here!

I am fairly sure I know where the Grinch went. As a warm up for Christmas this year, the green bastard's stealing Halloween!


You go on ahead... I'll be over here sobbing over the loss of one of my favorite holidays....

Talk to you later!

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