Saturday, October 8, 2011

These Are Not The Droids You're Looking For...

I was sorting my mail this morning, and I was just about done. I looked up and saw one of my co-workers, D.H. walking my way with an armload of flats (what we call over sized envelopes and magazines) for my route. I started to panic, not really wanting to take any more mail. I just wanted to pull what I had down and get on the road for delivery!
 Instead of panicking, I relaxed. I closed my eyes for a moment and just tried to feel the flow. Then I actually could feel it flowing! Either that or it was a little gas; it's so hard to tell sometimes. I opened my eyes, and as D.H. approached I remained calm and relaxed and waved a hand casually in her direction, like I was wiping a word from an imaginary chalk board with a single, lazy swipe.
"Those are not the flats for route 29," I said, calmly and evenly.
D.H. stopped, looking at me. She looked down at the flats on her arm, and then back up at me.
I waved again, slow and even.
"You can move along."
D.H. pivoted on her feet and walked off to the side, away from my route.
I was stunned.
"It worked," I whispered. "The Jedi mind-trick finally worked!"
I couldn't believe it! The Force must be exceptionally strong with me. I had no real training, had never crash-landed on a faraway planet and had to run around the swamp carrying Master Yoda on my back (who actually reminds me of a booger in a burqa. Seriously, I know he's powerful and all that, but he looks like he smells a bit ripe...) I felt heady with power, wondering what else I could do.
I'll have to swear to use my powers only for Good ... my God, I could be a superhero!
As I stood there, quietly basking in my own glory, trying hard not to get a swelled head about the whole thing, D.H. walked up with an armload of flats even higher than the one before.
"Here you go," she said, dumping them into my waiting arms. "I almost gave you the flats for route 27, but I caught it in time."
"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling my feet resting firmly on the ground once more. I looked at the pile of flats and sighed as I began sorting them.

What a letdown.

Talk to you later.

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