Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Water Great Communications Business I Am In!

This morning as I approached the Post Office, I saw that the street was full of running water. Then I noticed the firemen and workmen around the street, and a little farther down, one of the DPW trucks.
Terrific, I thought. I don't have time to ask about this now, but I'm sure they'll let me know about it if it'll effect the building. I drove up the driveway and hustled into the building just in time to clock in for the day.
For those of you who might not know, yes, I am a mailman.
So as I was walking to my bench (where I sort my mail) I saw my boss walking across the floor talking to one of the firemen. The fireman was talking, old Useless was... excuse me, my boss was walking with him and nodding; it was a scene of great camaraderie.
I, for one, was touched.
I went on to my work, sure that if there were some problem or other, that my boss would jump right on to the loudspeaker system and let us all know in a clear, professional manner. After all, he's the Supervisor. He's a leader of men.
So I worked through my morning, getting all my mail sorted and prepared to load into the truck for delivery. My last stop before I go out on the road with my route? Well, what is the last stop you make before any trip of any length or duration?
So I went in the bathroom. I closed the stall door behind me. I took a seat. I contemplated life, considered the Stock Market, and tried my damndest to figure out a solution for all our issues in the Middle East.
Okay, so I'm lying. But you know what I was doing, and I don't think I have to spell it out for you.
What's that?
No. I will not spell it out for you. Smart ass.
So anyway, there I sat and all that, and someone entered the bathroom proper. Since it is adjacent to the locker room, this is not unusual, and whoever it was simply went to the sinks and then right back out.
Just someone checking his hair,I thought, since the mirrors were right there over the sinks. No worries.
I finished my business ... of thinking of a Middle east solution ... yeah, that was it ... and I stood and hit the lever to flush.
Nothing happened.
I hit the lever again.
Still nothing, not even any pipe noises.
I wasn't sure what to do. I mean, at home I'd have been checking the tank, but the Post Office uses tankless models and there was nothing to ... oh. Wait a minute.
I fastened and zipped and buckled my way out of the stall and went to the sinks.
There, taped to the center of each mirror, one for each of the two sinks, was a large note.

"Water Shut Off - Do Not Use Untill Further Notice"

Yes, I noticed the spelling. But I also noticed that there had been a complete lack of any type of announcement addressing the fact that the water would be shut off.
Or that I would be unable to flush the toilet.
Or wash my hands. (Contemplating life is a dirty business - so there!)
I understand that shouted curses were heard emanating from the men's locker room. Someone asked me about it as I exited. I claimed no knowledge, and I'm sticking to it. I am a lavatory Johnnie Cochran - deny, deny, deny.

...and I am proud to be a part of what is essentially a communications industry. 
Except internally.
If you're my boss.

Talk to you later!

P.S. - I have a container of baby wipes in my mail truck for removing newsprint and other dirt from my hands prior to the eating of my lunch, so I was able to clean my hands. Just thought I'd point that out.


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