What's the Story?

Has this ever happened to you?

I was talking to a couple of the guys right after work. TK and TR. When I walked up, the two Ts were talking about boxing, a sport that, though I like to watch it, I know next to nothing about. I stood with them, though, making small contributions to the conversation when I could.

Now, I'm not sure exactly what led up to it. I was paying attention, but I just can't remember what happened in the conversation to lead TK up to the story he told. But he told it.

Sort of.

"Check it out, there's this commercial, right, there's this commercial, and it's got this guy standing there like this, right -" here TK folds his arms across his chest and slumps, looking for all the world like a sleepy security guard. Trying to look tough, but sagging.

"This dude's standing like this, right, and then he opens his eyes!"

TK, who is tall and thin, sagged like a spent jack-in-the-box, leaning bonelessly to one side and gently bouncing up and down. The jack-in-the-box bounces because it is balancing on a spring. TK was bouncing because he was laughing.

He was laughing hard. Quietly, but hard. He was laughing, one might say, fit to bust.

TR and I looked at each other, then back to TK. Then at each other again. We could each see the other thinking Okay, something mighty funny must have just been said, and I missed it, What did I miss?
TK noticed we weren't laughing, so he took pity on us and explained the funny part. For our benefit.

"So the guy opens his eyes, right? He's standing like this and he opens his eyes, but he's got eyes painted on his eyelids!"

Thigh slapping guffaws. From him, anyway. TR looked at me again.

"That sounds like that old Three Stooges routine, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Or Pirates of the Caribbean."

TK was sitting now, wiping great tears of mirth from his eyes. He sputtered and gasped, and finally got some sort of control over himself.

"It was like, it was like, the guy had eyes on his eyelids, and he opened his eyes. It was like this movie I saw where the guy was a postal worker, right, and he did that thing with his eyes, right, with the eyes on the eyelids, and then he opened his eyes and the other guy jumped!"

The sound he made next I think I would write as "Bwaahhahahahahahahaha..." Laughter slammed into him with such force it actually knocked him backward on the chair. He leaned back so far his feet came off the floor, and then he slammed them back down again as he whip-sawed back toward us, throwing his head so far forward it wound up between his shaking knees. He flung his laughter toward us almost violently, as if there was just too much of it for one man to take, and he had to get rid of some of it or die.

TR and I looked at each other again. We were both laughing as well. Not nearly as much as TK; just enough to help him with his burden of laughter.

"That commercial," I said to TR, "not funny."

He shook his head, indicating that no, it wasn't. I jerked my head, pointing toward the huddled, shaking mass of giggles that had once been TK.

"That story, also not funny."

He shook his head again, saying "No! No, no no."

I pointed a finger at TK, who looked like he might be getting himself back under some sort of control.

"But he," I said, "he is funny!"

"Yes!" he agreed. We laughed as we walked away from TK, walking faster and laughing harder when he called out in a weak, gasping voice.

"Wait! There's more!"

No. No there isn't.

And I still don't know what the hell the original story was about!

I'd ask TK about it, but I'm afraid it would be too much for him.


Talk to you later!