I was talking today with a friend of mine whom I consider to be a Crazy Cat Lady. I know she's okay with this, as that's how she refers to herself as well. I was thinking that there might be CCLs out there who are either still unaware or in denial of their status. I decided to put up a little list of Crazy Cat Lady characteristics to help them out. Think of it like Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a Redneck..." bit, but with cats. So...
You might be a Crazy Cat Lady (or someone you know might be a Crazy Cat Lady) if....
- You have five or more cats, and are of the opinion that there is plenty of room for more... in your 1 bedroom apartment.
- You talk to your cats as if they can understand, and worse, find yourself expecting that they do
- You have at some point, had guests over and told one of them "Oops! You'll have to move. Sorry, that's Kitty's chair..." ... and you were not kidding.
- You have knitted, quilted, needle-pointed, cross-stitched, crocheted, macraméd, woven, felted, rug-hooked, scrap-booked, or otherwise caused to come into being a representation of a cat or cats in a crafty manner on average more than once per year.
- A visitor, attempting to count the images of cats in your home, requires the aid of a calculator, adding machine, or, in an emergency, an abacus.
- You have been involved in a vehement argument, bordering on violence, with a person or persons who had the gall to use the phrase "there's more than one way to skin a cat."
- You consider cat-hair to be viable as both an fashion accessory and a food additive.
- Young children, when visiting, sometimes build elaborate play forts out of your stored bags of kitty litter.
- Your-live in fiance' acquires an adult-onset allergy to cat dander and comes home to find his stuff on the lawn, the locks changed, and the phone off the hook. (True story, I kid you not.)
- You have ever been seen outside your home, either inside or outside your yard, wearing a lavender straw hat with yellow and pink flowers on the front of the band. Worse: you have been seen holding a cat wearing a matching hat.
Now, I'm not saying that being a CCL is a bad thing. I actually kind of like it. But if you look at this list and some of the things look really familiar, or you found yourself saying "So? There's nothing wrong with that!" as you were reading it, then I'd say you are a Cat Lady.
Say it loud, and say it proud. "I'm a Crazy Cat Lady!"
You'll probably feel better having it out in the open. Trust me, if you are a CCL, it's not really a secret; your friends all know. Especially that poor bastard who was sitting in Kitty's chair.
Now, this is just a list I have compiled from my own experiences with Crazy Cat Ladies over the years. It's not comprehensive, and I know I missed at least a few. You may have your own little signs of CCL-ness. Do you? If you have your own list of signs to watch out for with regard to Crazy Cat Ladies, please, drop me a comment. Let me know what I missed. I'll add it to my CCL database.
Talk to you later!