Mail Bag! 2-27-2012

It's Mail Bag time again!

So, I'm going to choose a few items that appeared in my Junk Mail Folder in the past 30 days, and give you my 1st response to them. Off the top of my head. Just from looking at the Subject line, not actually opening them. It is all Junk Mail, after all...

• Digital Deals: "I've got a Sherpa in my Trunk!"
  
• Terrific!  The Sherpa people are an ethnic group in eastern Nepal! I'm calling the cops!
  
  
• Independent Publishing: "Reveal your author name!"
  
• This is my author name, you doofus!
  
  
• eMusic: "You've been selected - get your first month for 99 cents"
  
• You've been rejected! You get nothing, and you get it right now!

• Digital Deals: "Yes wrinkles will be gone in 60 seconds - watch Tammy and Anisa demonstrate"
  
• Really? Because Tammy and Anisa will be gone a hell of a lot quicker than that! See this little "delete" key right here...?
  
  
• Real Writing Jobs: "Rob, You gotta see this!"
  
• No, I don't! You're sending me an ad from a writing site, and you're using the technically non-existent contraction 'gotta'? I suppose my answer to you should be "Nope, I ain't gotta see nuthun'!"
  
  
• Disney Destinations: "FREE Disney Parks Vacation Planning DVD!"
  
• Okay, this one I can work with. Maybe. If what they mean is they want to send me a DVD on howto plan a free vacation to Disney Parks. If they mean it the other way, that they want to send me a free DVD to help me plan a trip to Disney Parks where I'll spend thousands of dollars for the privilege of going to their parks and spending the day standing in their exclusive lines, well, then I have a pretty creative suggestion as to just what they can do with their free DVD! 
  
  
• Digital Deals: "Oreck for 1/2 price - Need I say more?"
  
• Nope, Apparently what you said there was exactly how much I needed you to say for me to delete your mail immediately! Excellent work!
  
  
• Infinity Shoes: "Just Reduced: Miz Mooz Boots!"
  

• Um... what?
  

Okay, I'm all junk mailed out for this month. Did anyone else out there get anything in their junk mail folder that made them blink, give a double-take or maybe even giggle? Throw a comment down below and let us know about it. 

I, for one, would love to hear about it!

Talk to you later!