Hammer Time

Yesterday Handsome had a play date at the roller rink. We were supposed to be there by 1:00, but, of course, we were running a little late.

Anyone who knows me knows that of you want to get me somewhere by 1:00, you have to tell me to be there by 12:30. Handsome, being very much like me, just makes things worse. Between the two of us, it's a wonder we ever manage to get anywhere at all!

So we were running a little late. As we were doing all the last-minute things we needed to get done before we left the house, EG, my future brother-in-law, drove up and parked out in front of the house.

"EG's here!" Handsome called up the stairs to me.

"I know," I replied. "I think he's here for the front stairs. Just get ready and meet me in the Jeep, alright?"

"Okay, Dad!"

I finished getting my stuff together and went to the back door to put on my shoes. As I slipped them on, I looked out the window at my Jeep sitting in the driveway.

No sign of Handsome.

Terrific, I thought.

I raced through the house looking for Handsome in all the usual places.

Not in the kitchen, going through the refrigerator.

Not in front of the computer playing a game.

Not in front of the television, staring like the dang thing had him hypnotized.

Okay, I thought. Where the heck's my kid?


I went out to the Jeep just on the off chance that he really was out there and I had just missed seeing him through the window. On the way out to the driveway, I found him.

EG was there to work on removing the bricksteps from the front of my parent's house, preparatory to my father building a front deck out there (at least, that's the plan I've heard). As I walked out toward my Jeep I saw Handsome out by the remains of the front steps, swinging a 10 lb sledgehammer like a 120 lb maniac while EG took a smoke break.

"What are you doing?" I said.

"Taking out the stairs!" he said, happy as a pig in... well, in that stuff that pigs are known to be happy in.

I looked at EG.

"I can't even get him to clean his room. How the heck did you get him to actually work?"

Handsome piped up before EG could answer, snapping the words out between swings of the hammer.

"I still don't want to clean my room! This isn't work, it's breaking stuff!"

He swung the hammer yet again.

"I can always break stuff!"

No kidding, Kid.

Talk to you later!