And So This Is Christmas...

It’s 6:30 am.

Here I sit, all alone at the dining room table in the house where Handsome and his mother live. I’ve been here for forty minutes or so.

I drove here so early there was no traffic, other than the one obligatory Slow Person. This is the person who got in front of me for just long enough for me to start yelling in my enclosed car. Then they turned on their directional for a little more than a mile, passing about nine turnings they could have taken but didn’t, and I had just started to shout to myself about that when they turned off my intended route, thereby saving themselves from a slow death by strangulation… and myself from a lengthy prison sentence for murder via slow strangulation. I don’t know why I shout at these people. I believe it’s actually a Massachusetts State Law that every trip made by car which the driver thinks will be a breeze have one of these Slow People in front of them for a while. It helps maintain, as a State, a healthy level of Road Rage. 

Or is it an un-healthy level?

I forget.

Anyway, I slipped through the front door in the dark, silent as a shadow among shadows. One of the main reasons I was being so silent was so I would not create any sounds that might serve to cover up the noise of all three dogs in the house going absolutely mental, barking at me as if I had just set all their asses on fire. Lights went on up and down the street as the dogs announced my presence in the house with more clarity than if I’d ridden in on a parade float preceded by the world’s only Electronic Fife and Drum corps with all their amps turned up to eleven. Not Ten. Eleven. And why would their amps turn up to eleven, rather than the traditional maximum of ten? The Spinal Tap fans out there all know. 

What’s that? 

Yes, that’s right. Because it’s one louder, isn’t it?

Eventually they all settled down again, and I proceeded to set up my laptop on the table here to start working on a short story I’m writing: a somewhat dark (what a surprise, I know) fairytale Princess story. I sat for a while and thought, listening to the silence in the dark house. I looked out the window to see if the sun was rising yet, but I swear that great celestial orb rolled over, squinted at me, gave me the finger and went right back to sleep. I got up and turned on the Christmas Tree lights, and that was a bit cheery, but then I sat back down and listened to the silent house again. Air hissed through the ducts as the heat came on, but ten minutes later the silence returned when the furnace shut down. 

The reason I got up and came over here so early was so that I’d be here when Handsome got up for Christmas morning. I’ve been here every Christmas morning of his life, and this was to be no exception. Wife told me I had to be here before 6am, since that’s when he gets up. Handsome told me to be here before 6am, since that’s when he gets up. I got here before 6am, because that was when Handsome was getting up.

Let’s see…

— Had an easy drive in except for the Slow Person.

— Snuck in quite silently except for the dogs barking at me to within an inch of their lives.

— Got here early enough to see Handsome wake up at 6am… but it’s now past 7am and I’m still alone out here.

— However, I did get a quick blog entry out of all this, and now, at 7:05 am, I’ve cracked open my first box of Milk Duds of the day. My camera is all set to capture the look of groggy wonder on Handsome’s face whenever he decides to grace the world with his presence, and then his presents, and I’m about to start working on that dark fairy Princess story.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Merry Christmas to me!

Merry Christmas to you!

Talk to you later!

P.S. - Just thought I'd pop back in here and mention that it's now 7:35. The Sun is up, but the son is still down, and I still sit here alone, quietly singing to myself.

"...and so this is Christmas.... and what have you done? You're sitting here blogging... wai-ting for your son..."


P.P.S. - 8:00am - FIRST SIGNS OF LIFE! HUZZAAAAHHH!!!!!

Merry Christmas!