With a Stick

Last week it was 80 degrees and sunny here in Massachusetts. Too hot for me personally, but out on my route I had everybody and their brother meeting me at the door to take in the mail. They all had the same thing to say:

“Wow, must be great to have your job today!.”

No, wait, some of them had this to say:

“Oh, I wish I had your job!”

Or this one:

“Must be terrific to work outside!”

Then there’s the ever-popular “Warm enough for you?” Yeah…that one’s a pip.

I even had one gentleman, he’s probably a terrific guy, who let loose with a “Can’t beat your job with a stick!”

Well, that was last week. When it was 80 degrees and sunny.

Yesterday was only in the high 30’s, maybe 40 degrees. That, of course, was before you factored in the wind, which was gusting up to almost 40 mph. That kind of a gust, as anyone who works outside during a New England winter can tell you, gives you a wind chill factor of “Holy @#$%-ing $#!%!!”

Now what I want to know is, where were all my fair-weather friends yesterday? I didn’t see hide nor hair of any of them, and believe you me, I was looking!

I especially didn’t see that gentleman who’s probably a terrific guy hiding behind the blinds in his living room as I rang his bell repeatedly while screaming “With a stick, huh pal? I got your stick right here! Right here!”

I left before the police arrived.

Barely.

I think I may try medication.

That’s what the voices are telling me to do, anyway. Well, some of them. It’s a bit of a debate.

Talk to you later!